TUESDAY, 24 NOVEMBER 2015
I was lost and found a new me
And so it rains on a late Tuesday morning…
I stared at the rain as it reminds me of how lost I was the last one week.
I am coming to terms with the diminishing chances of finding my biological siblings. Moving forward, I will balance my life as who I have been and who I could have been with who I should be.
People say our future is what we make it to be. I have no intention to remake my past (I couldn’t anyway even if I wanted to but that is not the point). I will then take each step cherishing my given world and what is left of it with more love.
This adoption discovery came at the lowest point of my life. As if the seabed wasn’t ground deep enough, this experience brought me on a slippery slope into the dark abyss. My wife and 4 children are the only people keeping me together. Not omitting my caring grandmother without which my entire life would have been a continuous lie.
Despite it all, I will not give in and give up. I wasn’t build for recall.
My brothers and sisters out there, I will find you even if it takes me a lifetime.
My name is Fahmi Rais and I will shoulder on. Will add my Chinese surname if ever I come to know what it is.
Out.
I stared at the rain as it reminds me of how lost I was the last one week.
I am coming to terms with the diminishing chances of finding my biological siblings. Moving forward, I will balance my life as who I have been and who I could have been with who I should be.
People say our future is what we make it to be. I have no intention to remake my past (I couldn’t anyway even if I wanted to but that is not the point). I will then take each step cherishing my given world and what is left of it with more love.
This adoption discovery came at the lowest point of my life. As if the seabed wasn’t ground deep enough, this experience brought me on a slippery slope into the dark abyss. My wife and 4 children are the only people keeping me together. Not omitting my caring grandmother without which my entire life would have been a continuous lie.
Despite it all, I will not give in and give up. I wasn’t build for recall.
My brothers and sisters out there, I will find you even if it takes me a lifetime.
My name is Fahmi Rais and I will shoulder on. Will add my Chinese surname if ever I come to know what it is.
Out.
[Note: the above (copy and paste) was written in my blogspot 5 years ago]